I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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