Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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