The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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