I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
