i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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