i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Found the puke drawer
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
