I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
