Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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