I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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