I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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