It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
