She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
