Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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