My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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