Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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