I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
MIDGETS
????
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
