well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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