he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
