I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
