can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
