The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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