i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
