We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize