I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
