If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
