on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
