Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
