dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
