Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
