Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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