dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
