She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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