my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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