is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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