just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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