i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
