escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
