You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is the high leading the old right now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize