"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize