You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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