I want to have your abortion
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
sex in a hospital.. check
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
