So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
