i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Small penises have feelings too.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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