gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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