My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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