Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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