I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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