I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
