I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
