i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
