Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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