So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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