I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love having hate sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
