a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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