In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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