I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
