awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Randomize
