Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
