Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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