found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
