I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize