...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
