i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
